June 02, 2008

five years too many - haha

Hi there.

I knew this day was going to come sooner or later.

We went from here

6.2.2003
Countdown to extasy is a lie.
I'm not excited about my reunion.

not in the least.

That's why I decided to start this blog.

Maybe it'll be more beneficial than drowning in beer.
posted by krixfort, who else?
 

to here http://pathtoproduction.blogspot.com/ in only five years.

i started a blog five years ago due to a neurosis surrounding my 20 year high school reunion. I wasn't really neurotic about getting old. It was more a fear or worry that I would never measure up to my own expectations. It was a worry that I hadn't done anything with my life that I felt was important. And it was worry that maybe I had wasted too much time. That I hadn't made the right choices.

That worry is in the past. Through the course of five years, I've discussed the worry. Confirmed it. Dismissed it. Denounced it. Embraced it and finally, got over it. It went away.

Not having that worry has freed me up to embark on some pretty exciting shit. The move to the Jolly is well underway. I'm producing a play in New York and I'm not even a theater geek. I'm writing, really writing, not a blog but stories, for stage, page, and screen.

Don't know if I would have got here without writing it out on theblog. Not sure if I would have arrived if I hadn't met the people I did along the way.

With all that said, I feel like it's time for this incarnation of Hell's Half Acre to disappear. I mean go away. As in deletion. It's time to start fresh. Fresh and clean and beige friendly (and by beige friendly, I just mean that I want to be able to write about shit that won't look crappy in a personnel record and if someone stumbled upon a blog post I wouldn't be embarrassed.)

So stay tuned if you're so inclined. I'll be around in the ether and I'll leave a forwarding address but for now, this is krixfort, signing out from HHA.

Cheers from your friend,
Kris

 

PS definitely look less manaical in the baby pic. What's up with that?

May 30, 2008

the word urgent means nothing to me any longer

an open letter from an anonymous support person

hi peoples. I am not like most tech support people in that I can speak to non  tech people. I can usually explain things in a way that you can understand. I will listen to your needs. But I do ask for a few things from you in return.

Please don't IM me every five minutes when I am debugging your problem.

PLease don't email me and then call me on the phone to make sure that I got your support request, which by the way, did not come through the proper channel if it was submitted via email. You know where to put it.

Oh and FYI, there is a whole team of people. They work around the clock, around the globe, all the time. All the time. That means if you do submit a request through the proper channel, someone, somewhere will see it, and acknowledge it. Do not send me and only me an email saying you have an urgent urgent urgent request that is now late because guess what homeslice, I work staggered hours. Not always here at the same time all the time. It's kind of part of the global coverage deal.

Please don't call me and assume I'm omnicient. I am not. Need context from your problem. For instance coming to my cube and saying "we're fucked!" and expecting me to know what that means will not work. It could mean a number of things. For all I know, you could be philosophizing about doomsday. I don't really know. 

Don't preface every request with the word urgent. By using it everytime you submit a request, you have now invalidated the adjective. It is defunct. If each and every case is the top priority, we will then prioritize those case according to what we think is the priority.

okay one last thing. PLease know this if you work with me.  I keep a list. A list with names. A list with your name and your question. I only put you on the list if I have repeatedly told you the answer. I put you on the list if I busted my ass to give you training and your question is something we covered. I put you on the list if this answer does not require specialized knowledge and can be found on google.  I put you on the list if the answer is clearly documented in help, a knowlege base, or anyother product info. I am not the answer man. I do not exist so that you don't have to think.

Urgent is not the new black.

May 29, 2008

shizzle dizzle storm

whoa.

could life be more crazy right now? I do not think so.

I think not.

I am not think. Can not.

Major software release this weekend at beige. Lots of work for us serfs.

Deadlines for the play. Press kits, printing deadlines, design stuffs, marketing meetings, auditions, money.

It's crazy I tell you.

Crazy.

May 23, 2008

carbon foot print low. tardy factor high.

Ilove public transport but I never seem to give myself enough time.I don't understand why the laws of physics do not bend to my will. Why can I not leave my house at 8:45 and be at my desk by 9:15? Oh yes, now I remember. It's the 15 min walk or ride to the subway that keeps tripping me up.

Here's what I tell people: "oh hey, my place is totally convenient! It's like a 20 minute ride on the F train to my office."

This is true, btw.

In my brain I remember the 20 minute part always.

My brain would make a good marketing department,always accentuting the positive and constantly committing lies of omission.

This post brought to you by crackberry and the Q32.

May 21, 2008

amazingness

first off let me say congrats to Dubz! Bunz has finally arrived and is so cute I want to eat him. Eating babies is not really socially acceptable so I will just smother Bunz with virtual kisses. kiss kiss kiss.

secondly, the play is moving along at a rapid clip. Check the playblogthingy for more details.

I've sent off the papers to the immigration station and now the ball is in the lawyer's court. With luck, we'll have an affirmative action and I will be granted admission to the jolly for two years. If not, then we make the case the long way meaning it may take a few more months to make the case. We have to prove that I do not take away a job from my Jolly doppleganger, the ex-coder who hates to write code and just likes to pick apart other people's stuff and say why it sucks.

Lots of stuffs going on which is why HHA is a little stale. HHA's fifth birthday is rapidly approaching. Almost time to retire. . .at least this incarnation. Soon to come, the new beige friendly, less personally revealing, HHA, wherein we do not talk about baby eating, or bingey behavior, or girl gore.

Man. What's the point of a blog?

May 19, 2008

you asked for it you got it

still a work in progress. So is this

http://www.writersblocktheplay.com

May 16, 2008

putting words into practice

I've often spoken about the power of the internets and marketing through conversation. I still find the internet conversation fascinating from a sociological perspective.

With the play, Master G and I ware trying all sorts of ideas to get the word out and I am leveraging everything that I have learned in the past 6 years about search engine optimization, social networking, blogs, and whatnot. We'll see if I can put my money where my mouth is before opening night on July 20th.

Oh yeah. . .and who wrote this brilliant piece of copy? hmmm?

Daniel has been infected with writer's block and can't deliver a follow-up to his smash hit play. After a few hilariously failed attempts to find the antidote Daniel discovers the cure for his malady in an unexpected place.

Master G read that to me and I was like "wow. that's good. Did they write that? Wait a second. Did I write that? Hells Bells Mary, that's pretty excellent."

So anyways, I have two examples from HHA where I've been surprised by the outcome. The first is the wamu cards sucks post which continues to collect comments.  I'm not too excited about it but it is part of the phenomenon of internet backtalk resulting from poor customer service. I'll keep the post going even though I don't like the fact that it's a little too visible in search results. (always trying to fly under the radar at HHA.)

The second example is a little more interesting. Last June I had made a post about the fact a book was written which explored some of the blog/commerce connectins I had researched at NYU. I checked my bloggy email today and I received an email from one of the book's authors who thanked me for mentioning the book. Here is a link to the book's Blog. Although I mentioned the book, I did not pick up a copy at the time. The email reminded me about it and since I am in the middle of promoting this play, it seems like good reading. Besides, the author said if I ever run into him or the other author they would be happy to autogragh a copy. Talk about marketing! Since they are both in the Jolly, it's a possibility. One of the beigers who is wrapped up in this type of stuff actually got up and spoke at the House of Commons.

The conversations that happen via this medium could never have taken place 15 years ago. It's truly amazing.

May 15, 2008

Happy Birthday MASTER G!!!!!

It's official. You are one year older.

okay enough about that guy. this blog is about ME and I have a mini crush on someone from beige. It's great to have a mini crush, especially when the object of the mini crush is on the other side of the ocean. Well really I have many mini crushes on the kids from across the pond, but most of those are mainly comprised of fondness. Soft spots like you have for a neice or nephew. The big mini crush is a little worser than that. Here's why it can never be more than a mini crush.

Object of Affectionate Friendship a.k.a. OAF

OAF is a pretty boy from a racially challenged land far down under.

OAF is seeing a "bird."

OAF is kind of like an Irish Setter. . .gorgeous and a little dumb.

OAF is in sales.

It must be the accent that's the kicker because normally I steer clear of all of that. Unfortunately OAF is really sweet and I have been looking for excuses to call and discuss a case of his I am currently working on.

I thik OAF probably knows he is charming and probably trades on that but it was not apparent to me. He seemed genuinely nice. Maybe I am cynical and ruined to be looking for the agenda always.

okay enough about me.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MASTER G. Oh wait. I already said that.

But it's so nice I had to say it twice!

May 14, 2008

back in the u.s.s.a

god bless america. it's nice to spend 17.00 and have it equal 17.00 instead of 34.00.

May 11, 2008

switching gears

I'm a little burnt out on trying to hit all of the Jolly's High Streets. If you are unfamiliar with the concept of high street, it's basically the Bizarro World equivalent of main street. Every borough or area has one.

Yesterday I discovered Clapham. Pretty coolsville. In a good way. I hung out with a co-beiger for about 4 hours. We just walked around, grabbed a bite to eat. Sat outside. Tried not to sweat. I hear there has been a weird reversal of weather. Yesterday here it was in the 80s. Hot really, especially since no one has an "air-con."

Jesus. I was looking for pictures of Clapham and I found this guy's site. I want to be this guy.

back to what I was doing.

Lots of stuff happening with Writer's Block. Check the Path for more info.

I'm kinda all over the place here. I am switching gears back to New York. Today I took a time out from London and apartment hunting, and concentrated on our marketing efforts for WB. I am also packing.

Don't forget to call your moms.

May 10, 2008

starnger in a strange land

Stranger, stranger in a strange land.
He look at me like I was the one who should run.
I watched as he watched us get back on the bus.
I watched the way it was.
The way it was when.
He was with us.
And I really dont mind sleeping on the floor.
But I couldn't sleep after what I saw.
I wrote this letter to tell you,
The way I feel.
I wish you were here.
To see what I could see, and hear.
I wish you were here.

May 07, 2008

all these posts suck ass

Dear Internets,

let me offer my apologies for sucking for all the world to see. I will try to think of something funny to post.

I mean really, I'm into my third week here and I have yet to post on Bizarro World. Bizarro World is this universe where they speak english, and watch the same tv shows, and eat the same food, and do the same things you and I do.

Or DO they?

Exhibit One: Law and Order SVU - I turned this on during my weekend of dispair in which I was homesick and couldn't function. In Bizarro World, they speed up the transmission/playback. . ? I don't know what they do but the voices were slightly higher. Ice-T sounded like a mouse and completely uncool. It's a wonder he has any street cred at all.

Exhibit Two: The Lift. I remember learning in French class in high school that there is GROUND FLOOR and then there is the FIRST FLOOR.  I pushed the "1" button for a week before it sunk in.

Exhibit Three: weird keyboard. The double quotes are where the @ sign should be. The number sign is where something else should be. I am not really a touch typist. This is hard.

Exhibit D: tampons. Beside being a week or so early (SURPRISE), lady time has introduced me to a different type of tampon. . . a british tampon. I wasn't figuring it out. I had to read the instructions. Seriously. I did. Re-TARD-ed. (it is possible that this is not an offshoot of Bizarro World but maybe a result of having to switch brands because I couldn't find they-that-were-designed-by-a-woman-gynecologist.)

Exhibit Z: words and euphemisms. My first day in Bizarro World I was embarassed after saying "I'm completely tossed." The looks of surprise around the table of people I DID NOT know was the first indication of a gaff. Over here, the euphemism for Tossed is meaning number 6 in the Urban Dictionary. Look it up. There have been others of course. And for the record, I never say tossed in the states. I am unsure why that phrase came out of my mouth. Maybe it was my brain trying to play a joke on me.

Here are some additional notes.  The residents of Bizarro World have informed me that I do NOT have an anoying accent. They also like my sense of humor so we're good there. I like to drink and smoke just like they do. 

They cannot sell me on the mushy peas though. That is a no go.

Mind the gap,
krixfort

May 05, 2008

I'm happy because I suck

'allo Guvna! Moi name's 'Enry and Oi SUCK.

'Enry and I went at it on Saturday, the day of chores. He was so happy about it though. I want to keep him out and use him EVERY DAY!

We forgot to clean this mirror though. Dir'y in'it  guvna?

P.S. those are my rockin vintage 70's mirrored aviator style sunglasses I'm sporting. All the better to see you with, my dear. More like all the better to pose with on Brick Lane my dear. The area up by Bethnal Green reminded me of W'burg a little. Also the Mission District in SF. It wasn't bad. I could live in that area. Found some spots. Spitalfields/Shoreditch are within walking distance to Beige.

I'm torn between that area in the East End and an area by the Thames near where the Hammersmith Palais used to stand.  I am gung ho for doing the following things when I move here, one of which is to join a boxing gym, the other is to join a rowing club. There is a rowing club based in Furnival Gardens, which is close to Hammersmith. I found some nice Studio flats close to Furnival. If I live in Shoreditch, he boxing gym idea will stay but rowing will be out. Also, I can tell that what that area has to offer may undermine my attempts at a new and improved healthful lifestyle.

Part of this move is an attempt to shake things up a bit. Despite what you may hear about the drinking habits here in the Jol, when you have to make sure you're on a tube by midnight because a cab will cost you an arm and a leg, you just naturally curtail your imbibement. I learned that relatively quickly. It's been like two weeks of rehab. . . in a good way. I can actually sit and enjoy ONE glass of wine or ONE beer, instead of packing it in for a session.  The other thing is that I am actually unwilling to go pubbing alone. I already spoke about the tendency for people to pair up here. The last thing I'm doing is hitting a neighborhood pub without some kind of cover. And since I don't have the time or energy to figure out what my cover is, I will just stay away unless I'm with friends.  Well, I needed an excuse to retrain myself and reset my my habits back to 0 anyway.

Alright, off to Hammersmith/Furnival Gardens/Ravenscourt to assess the suitability of the hood.  I will leave you with this: