Hell's Half Acre

switching gears

I'm a little burnt out on trying to hit all of the Jolly's High Streets. If you are unfamiliar with the concept of high street, it's basically the Bizarro World equivalent of main street. Every borough or area has one.

Yesterday I discovered Clapham. Pretty coolsville. In a good way. I hung out with a co-beiger for about 4 hours. We just walked around, grabbed a bite to eat. Sat outside. Tried not to sweat. I hear there has been a weird reversal of weather. Yesterday here it was in the 80s. Hot really, especially since no one has an "air-con."

Jesus. I was looking for pictures of Clapham and I found this guy's site. I want to be this guy.

back to what I was doing.

Lots of stuff happening with Writer's Block. Check the Path for more info.

I'm kinda all over the place here. I am switching gears back to New York. Today I took a time out from London and apartment hunting, and concentrated on our marketing efforts for WB. I am also packing.

Don't forget to call your moms.

starnger in a strange land

Stranger, stranger in a strange land.
He look at me like I was the one who should run.
I watched as he watched us get back on the bus.
I watched the way it was.
The way it was when.
He was with us.
And I really dont mind sleeping on the floor.
But I couldn't sleep after what I saw.
I wrote this letter to tell you,
The way I feel.
I wish you were here.
To see what I could see, and hear.
I wish you were here.

Westward Ho!

My trip to the Jolly is winding down. Have I learned any valuable life lessons? Let's see.

Pay as you go Oyster cards do not work on overland trains.

Cabs in London are too expensive.

So are restaurants.

they sell scotch eggs at Sainsbury's.

man. I must be too tired or something. I have no lessons in my head at the moment. Let's move on, shall we?

Today I go to Clapham to check it out. I am meeting some co-beigers who are coming to hang out. I was going to try to go to bookartbookshop in Shoreditch first but I'm not sure that I will make it.  oh you know what, if I bust ass I can make it and make it back to Clapham by 2. . . .I think. I'll give it a shot.

So since I don't have lessons, here are some more pics.

Sometimes this place looks like San Francisco.

Sometimes it reminds me of Seattle.

Sometimes I just see London.

   

all these posts suck ass

Dear Internets,

let me offer my apologies for sucking for all the world to see. I will try to think of something funny to post.

I mean really, I'm into my third week here and I have yet to post on Bizarro World. Bizarro World is this universe where they speak english, and watch the same tv shows, and eat the same food, and do the same things you and I do.

Or DO they?

Exhibit One: Law and Order SVU - I turned this on during my weekend of dispair in which I was homesick and couldn't function. In Bizarro World, they speed up the transmission/playback. . ? I don't know what they do but the voices were slightly higher. Ice-T sounded like a mouse and completely uncool. It's a wonder he has any street cred at all.

Exhibit Two: The Lift. I remember learning in French class in high school that there is GROUND FLOOR and then there is the FIRST FLOOR.  I pushed the "1" button for a week before it sunk in.

Exhibit Three: weird keyboard. The double quotes are where the @ sign should be. The number sign is where something else should be. I am not really a touch typist. This is hard.

Exhibit D: tampons. Beside being a week or so early (SURPRISE), lady time has introduced me to a different type of tampon. . . a british tampon. I wasn't figuring it out. I had to read the instructions. Seriously. I did. Re-TARD-ed. (it is possible that this is not an offshoot of Bizarro World but maybe a result of having to switch brands because I couldn't find they-that-were-designed-by-a-woman-gynecologist.)

Exhibit Z: words and euphemisms. My first day in Bizarro World I was embarassed after saying "I'm completely tossed." The looks of surprise around the table of people I DID NOT know was the first indication of a gaff. Over here, the euphemism for Tossed is meaning number 6 in the Urban Dictionary. Look it up. There have been others of course. And for the record, I never say tossed in the states. I am unsure why that phrase came out of my mouth. Maybe it was my brain trying to play a joke on me.

Here are some additional notes.  The residents of Bizarro World have informed me that I do NOT have an anoying accent. They also like my sense of humor so we're good there. I like to drink and smoke just like they do. 

They cannot sell me on the mushy peas though. That is a no go.

Mind the gap,
krixfort

I'm happy because I suck

'allo Guvna! Moi name's 'Enry and Oi SUCK.

'Enry and I went at it on Saturday, the day of chores. He was so happy about it though. I want to keep him out and use him EVERY DAY!

We forgot to clean this mirror though. Dir'y in'it  guvna?

P.S. those are my rockin vintage 70's mirrored aviator style sunglasses I'm sporting. All the better to see you with, my dear. More like all the better to pose with on Brick Lane my dear. The area up by Bethnal Green reminded me of W'burg a little. Also the Mission District in SF. It wasn't bad. I could live in that area. Found some spots. Spitalfields/Shoreditch are within walking distance to Beige.

I'm torn between that area in the East End and an area by the Thames near where the Hammersmith Palais used to stand.  I am gung ho for doing the following things when I move here, one of which is to join a boxing gym, the other is to join a rowing club. There is a rowing club based in Furnival Gardens, which is close to Hammersmith. I found some nice Studio flats close to Furnival. If I live in Shoreditch, he boxing gym idea will stay but rowing will be out. Also, I can tell that what that area has to offer may undermine my attempts at a new and improved healthful lifestyle.

Part of this move is an attempt to shake things up a bit. Despite what you may hear about the drinking habits here in the Jol, when you have to make sure you're on a tube by midnight because a cab will cost you an arm and a leg, you just naturally curtail your imbibement. I learned that relatively quickly. It's been like two weeks of rehab. . . in a good way. I can actually sit and enjoy ONE glass of wine or ONE beer, instead of packing it in for a session.  The other thing is that I am actually unwilling to go pubbing alone. I already spoke about the tendency for people to pair up here. The last thing I'm doing is hitting a neighborhood pub without some kind of cover. And since I don't have the time or energy to figure out what my cover is, I will just stay away unless I'm with friends.  Well, I needed an excuse to retrain myself and reset my my habits back to 0 anyway.

Alright, off to Hammersmith/Furnival Gardens/Ravenscourt to assess the suitability of the hood.  I will leave you with this:

 

krixfort cost comparision calculator + cultural contemplation

besides being beaten by the exchange rate, the consumer price index in the Jolly is freaking high. Each morning in the jolly I pay 1 pound 95 for a coffee. In the US I pay 1.95. I went to a movie last night. It was 10 pound 50. When I go to a movie in the US it's ~11.00.  Popcorn was 2.55 (GBP). Soda = 2.50 GBP.

I did due dilligence calculations on the salary beige is offering.  It is SLIGHTLY (like 1,000 USD higher per yr) than what I make now. Without being a vulgarian, I make a decent salary in tech, which is pretty much maxed since I live in NYC. Suffice to say I am making market rate for my position. After doing the calcs on beige salary US v UK, my spendable income is roughly equivalent, meaning, after conversion, I will be bringing in approximately the same amount of cash to live on after taxes.

Now, add in the higher cost of everything here plus the fact that my rent will quadruple. This is enough to make my heart stop.

Questions I have. Will this be worth it? Will I not only be able to manage my debt but will I be able to get ahead? What is my tax burden in both countries, at least for the first year?

The good thing is that last weekend this stuff was too overwhelming to contemplate.  This weekend, I can look at it with a clear head and actually do analysis and budgeting.

When I try to imagine myself living here, I imagine my first time living in a different city. I lived in Denver, and while the living was cheap, I was also getting paid something like 5 bucks an hour. My life was simple, basic. I only had a few friends. I saw them occaisionally. Mostly I wandered around exploring. I had a nice litle one bedroom apartment. It had two pieces of furniture, a crappy futon mattress on the floor, and a secondhand couch. I had a CD player and on weekends I would sit on  the couch, by the window, reading and listening to Mozart arias. For a 23 year old, I suppose it seemed a bit eccentric. I spent a lot on my phone bill. I wrote. I made weekly visits to Wax Trax and dug through the record bins. 

I look around this place and although it is a big cosmopolitan city with transplants from all over, I see few single people. This could be indicative of Putney, where it seems there are a lot of folks with the nesting instinct. In New York, I do many things by myself. I am an independent. If I move here, will I feel comfortable as an independent or will that frame of mind become isolatingly lonely? Much like Seattle, people here don't chat you up too much. It's more out of politeness and not wanting to disturb, as opposed to disinterest. Although I understood that, I never really liked it too much.

For me to feel somewhat comfortable moving to the Jol, I must have something in my head that I can relate it to, so I can gauge expectations, which is why I am cataloguing past experience. I feel like the Jolly will be a pastiche of my experiences in NYC, Seattle, and CO, mixed up with it's own special flavor.

That being said, it's 10am on Sunday. I have a cat that wakes me up at 5am so I have had plenty of time to sit on my ass. It's time to get out there and explore. Today's agenda includes Brick Lane/Shoreditch, then perhaps a jump across town to Clapham/Brixton. East and south and all about.

laters. 

cheapy mcCheaperson

so. I am a cheapskate.

I have to start over.

I am a cheapskate when it comes to rent. There is nothing that depresses me more than thinking of spending 50% of my take home wages on rent. I simply won't do this.

Because of this I've lived in some of the most fucked up places, like the apartment in SF with the "natural skylight" (a.k.a. hole in the roof which could not be repaired because of our fear that the landlord would find out that all four transients were not on the lease and we would subsequently be thrown into the streets of San Francisco) to the best of places (a.k.a. 81st St. productions whose co-inhabitants are beyond comparison for eternity.)

The average rent in London for a flat is approx. 1000 GBP.  Please don't do the conversion. It will only make your head hurt like mine is hurting.

I came here intent on finding a one bedroom flat, or an area in which I might find a reasonable one bedroom flat. Over the course of my time here, I've started to consider living outside of London, or a studio, or as of today, FLAT SHARING.

I really am thinking that I might flat share for the first six months. This could be a good idea. I think I live with others well. Anyone disagree? And you never know, as an exchange student, I'd do well to meet people which I could do if I find the right household. Also, I don't like this whole snap decision about choosing a neighborhood. If you lock into something that sucks you're stuck. The six month flat share allows me to save AND check out stuff on my own schedule.

i don't know. . .just thinking out loud to the internets. . .

I will try anything once.

today I tried mushy peas.

jolly good, jolly very good

It's been so busy I haven't had a chance to make updates. Here are the highlights.

Well first a recap of lowlights and what I did to kick lowlight's ass.

Last weekend was lonely and alienating. Out of the stress that came with that, I ended up with a fucked up neck and shoulder. Couldn't turn my head for two days. It hurt to lay down, to sit up, to breathe, to sneeze.

On to the highlights.

On Sunday I said SCREW THIS Y'ALL and I booked a massage for Tuesday at Bliss, my favorite spa. Best decision EVER. On Monday morning I woke up to find an email from a friend of the Hidey Hole who had heard about my excursion and immediately sent me contact info to her friend LaLaFunky. I've met LaLaFunky before a few times in NYC but when the email first came through I wasn't exactly sure who she was. I arranged to meet her on Monday.

Again, BEST DECISION EVER.

LaLaFunky has a trajectory similar to my own in which she is working on some film projects, guerilla style of course. On that first Monday meeting, she invited me to come participate as a grip on Wednesday. Alas, I was unable to escape the chains of beige during the time the shoot was taking place but I met up with her afterwards and saw footage of her project. Very cools.  We had some pints and shot the shit and eventually a couple of ideas were brought out on the table where we kind of made notes for a future story collaboratively. She has a great idea and I could see the structure straight away (ps straight away is very british sounding.)

Anywho, being able to talk to her about these projects and work on the ideas, along with the massage at my all time favorite spa, took the edge off the homesickness.  It made me wish I was already here and moving forward.

Plans for this weekend include going to visit LaLaF's neighborhood. . .ON THE BUS. . .new London experience. How does it work with an Oyster card? I don't know? Other plans include researching and writing a preliminary marketing plan for WB, and filling out forms in triplicate for the UK Homeland begging them to let me in.

Please kind sirs, I promise I'll be good. Wink.

P.S. What are Bubbles and Squeak? Marmite on toast? These things puzzle me. 

mr. manfrengensengen

I wasn't the biggest fan of A Fish Called Wanda when it came out. Loved John Cleese. LOVED Kevin Kline, who I believe won an award for his performance. But overall the movie never knocked my socks off and I'm not sure why.

I think that time and experience have caused this film to warrant a second viewing. Master G is fond of the movie and I trust his opinion on all things funny. He has a favorite quote from it that often gets stuck in my head even though I had no idea which scene it came from. 

I was looking for footage of the quote and I found The Best of Otto on YouTube. In watching this montage, I couldn't help but laugh at how much I am identifying with Otto this weekend.